Look Beyond

Look into the eyes of difference and see beauty.

Look into the face of change to see hope.

Look beyond normal and find promise.

Face the eyes of beyond and find a new bond.

A bond, unafraid to go beyond.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Birth

Arms around me,
holding tight.
Eyes over shoulders,
breaths just right.

Seconds as hours.
“Focus on me!”
Pain with purpose,
a family of three.

Seconds blurred,
moments etched.
My mother’s heart,
pulled, stretched.

“Little one, it’s just
you and me.
We can do this.” Push!
One, two, three.

Gush of ending,
purple and blue.
Rubbed til pink,
each breath it grew.

Birthing a miracle,
forming a bond.
Skin to skin,
suckle, respond.

Heart stopping love,
eyes shimmer true.
Drowning myself
in him, me, and you.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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The Day I Prayed to Die

The day I prayed to die,
I didn’t need any more why’s.
Wasn’t looking for reply’s,
there were no tears left to cry.

The day I prayed to die.

I wasn’t seeking heaven’s gate,
didn’t know if hell would be my fate.
Just knew I couldn’t longer wait,
to reach the end of livings state.

The day I prayed to die.

Question it a selfish prayer?
Of others, I was keenly aware.
But my pain just didn’t care,
it had become too much to bare.

The day I prayed to die.

No longer worth the constant strain,
exhaustion was my daily chain.
I knew I could no longer feign,
on others, I was now a drain.

The day I prayed to die.

Better just to cease to be,
everyone would then be free.
Grieve then moved away from me,
was my unstable inner plea.

The day I prayed to die.

I got no answer on that day.
Silent heaven wouldn’t life betray.
A barred path to its doorway.
Hell also couldn’t let me pay.

The day I prayed to die.

That day passed into the next,
continuation left me vexed.
I was blinded and perplexed.
“God, please, no more checks.”

Again, I prayed to die.

With no end and no relief,
exhaustion now pared with grief.
Greif was growing disbelief,
my prayer demanded a debrief.

Yes, I prayed to die.

Anger at the silent space,
God’s hand, I couldn’t trace.
Left me reeling, self disgrace,
numb to mercy’s embrace.

Still, I prayed to die.

Yet, God’s grace held true.
By degrees, it ever grew.
Working on my tainted view.
Willing to pull me through.

Even though I prayed to die.

See, my God will have his way.
His hand carry’s every day.
Promises will ever stay,
when his child walks astray,

or even prays to die.

Slowly life changing me,
life I wished I could flee.
Locked to earth by God’s decree.
Not my life, but his, you see.

He wouldn’t let me die.

Here I am, still in the mix.
God knows, I’m no easy fix.
Though I’m still one, he picks,
whatever life inflicts.

Steady prayers still fly,
though none ask to die.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Hosanna Joy

Her lips were purple,
her face a powder white.
I knew my baby sister wasn’t right.

“She’s now in heaven,”
said a mother torn in grief.
“For the first time she knows relief.”

An unfinished pine box,
made by my father’s hands.
Everyone in a daze of funeral plans.

“Goodbye baby sister,
there are few as strong as you.
We won’t forget battles you fought through.”

Holding tight the ribbon,
my balloon dark maroon.
Let it go. Watch the crowd disperse too soon.

Just a memory
in a five year olds mind.
Deepened with my seasons and outlined.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

Photo of Hosanna Joy and Mary Grace.

Bubble Hunting

A sheet of ice that spans the street, black like darkest slate.
From underneath water seeps, through clogged and rusting grate.
Bubbles trapped under ice dance despite the cold,
as little boots sliding fast can find no proper hold.

Back and forth, ghost like in sheen, the bubbles bounce and bob.
Weight is shifted up above. Stomp! That did the job.
One bubble popped. White rings are left to mark the impact’s crack.
How many can be caught and taught with a well aimed mighty thwack?

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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The Blue Drip

“I didn’t put you there!”
“But I found a drop of water and just couldn’t resist.”
The painter scowled while her bit of Blue blushed and mixed with its cousin Brown.
“Well now, we look like mud, and it’s all your fault.” If Brown had had arms, it would have folded them over each other, while holding a scowl on its face.
Blue just twittered and slipped farther down the page, touching Green and making the artist see spots.
“Oh, the possibilities!” It sung as it fingered out over each water drop touched. “Look, I am just a little happy blue. Can you catch me?”
The stop was abrupt at the edge of the page. Blue hung onto jagged fibres.
“Now blue, get back over here before you fall.”
“Fall? Oh, but to fall!” And fall Blue did, right off the paper on to Artists apron.
“Serves it right.” Muttered Brown as it dried and combined with the paper’s elements.
“How will I ever learn when the colours never get long?”
“Don’t worry,” Whispered Paintbrush. “They will all mature with you. Give them, and yourself time.”

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Insomnia’s Kiss

Racing
Chasing
Unconsciousness
Losing
Confusing
Wakefulness

Muddled
Huddled
Protectionist
Muzzled
Puzzled
Projectionist

Insomnia’s kiss

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Empty Footsteps

A trail of empty footsteps
all around is whiteness new
in those empty footsteps
are all my thoughts of you

In the softest flakes
that drift on breath to earth
I hear lilting whispers
reminding me of worth

Worth that can’t be measured
worth that won’t decrease
worth that’s my inheritance
it offers up release

As the empty footsteps
fill with weeping snow
again I am reminded
it’s you who truly know

Every longing fault
every triumph found
all mishandled
moments that abound

Before my earthly birth
before the turning age
you knew my entirety
including my backstage

No longer empty footsteps
we both are now abrim
tears of quiet gratitude
as I rims of puddles skim

© 2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Poetry? Email List & RedBubble Shop

I have started an author’s email list. Would you like to get updates on future publication and art projects? Then you should sign up! My email list will also be the first to have access to any discounts and coupons on future projects.

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I have also just finished setting up my new Red Bubble Shop! I am excited to make my art work available to you and the world. Please check it out and tell me what you think. See something you like? Share it with your friends. Even if you don’t care to make a purchase, sharing my shop with other will help me fund my upcoming publication projects. You can find my Red Bubble shop at MaryGWriting.redbubble.com.

I wish you a blessed New Year’s Day, and Year!