Truth

Not perception,
not reaction,
but what is.

Under veils,
under paint,
chip it off to reveal

something feared.
Revered.
Held at arm’s length.

Don’t look too close
one might choke,
if unready to face.

Still it waits.
Can’t be erased,
for it still is.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef


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Gentleness

Whispers that linger
in the cup of hand to heart.

Feathers that flutter
on words that lilt and dart.
Leaving presence behind like art.

Strength that guards
in silken threads of web.

Holding back sharp edges
with softest flow and ebb,
minding what is said.

Unrelenting,
unmovable gentleness.

How can one possess
this uncommonness,
that embodies love’s caress?

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Faithfulness

To be a constant,
unwavering mass.

To last.

To hold knowledge
open handed,

honestly.

To choose a path
and follow through,

thoroughly.

Never giving up.
Never backing down.

Faithfully.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Kindness

A single act
word
or gesture.
The power to propel
guard
or gather.
Embodies compassion,
making it action.

A smile
or nod,
unexpected applaud.
Really seeing,
being
present.

Kindness
is mindful,
refuses to stifle
when it can’t understand.
Knows God’s hand
has the end
planned.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Peace

Present places,
present faces,
in the moment here with you.

Touching sunlight,
touching evening,
side by side in all I do.

In comings,
follow goings,
always knowing you have space.

Quiet moments
hectic motions,
anchored inside grace.

Such protection,
unseen deflection,
learning ever to remain.

In the sphere
of your promise,
knowing every tear of pain,

is treasured,
measured,
in the palm of your hand.

Ensuring
your enduring
present peace before me spanned.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Joy

Found in simple spaces
when lights have dimmed to ease
weariness of day from shoulders prone.

In the morning beams
where radiance sings
reserving stage for feathered accompaniment notes.

Shimmers in the shadows
like the fuzziness of heat,
but greats in bells that chime with chirping mirth.

Often hid amid
wide open space
blending with a magic you can not trace.

Given to the few
who look beyond circumstance
to find the lines God painted beneath.

Even when awash,
paying untold cost,
finding treasure hid and hold relief.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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The Day I Prayed to Die

The day I prayed to die,
I didn’t need any more why’s.
Wasn’t looking for reply’s,
there were no tears left to cry.

The day I prayed to die.

I wasn’t seeking heaven’s gate,
didn’t know if hell would be my fate.
Just knew I couldn’t longer wait,
to reach the end of livings state.

The day I prayed to die.

Question it a selfish prayer?
Of others, I was keenly aware.
But my pain just didn’t care,
it had become too much to bare.

The day I prayed to die.

No longer worth the constant strain,
exhaustion was my daily chain.
I knew I could no longer feign,
on others, I was now a drain.

The day I prayed to die.

Better just to cease to be,
everyone would then be free.
Grieve then moved away from me,
was my unstable inner plea.

The day I prayed to die.

I got no answer on that day.
Silent heaven wouldn’t life betray.
A barred path to its doorway.
Hell also couldn’t let me pay.

The day I prayed to die.

That day passed into the next,
continuation left me vexed.
I was blinded and perplexed.
“God, please, no more checks.”

Again, I prayed to die.

With no end and no relief,
exhaustion now pared with grief.
Greif was growing disbelief,
my prayer demanded a debrief.

Yes, I prayed to die.

Anger at the silent space,
God’s hand, I couldn’t trace.
Left me reeling, self disgrace,
numb to mercy’s embrace.

Still, I prayed to die.

Yet, God’s grace held true.
By degrees, it ever grew.
Working on my tainted view.
Willing to pull me through.

Even though I prayed to die.

See, my God will have his way.
His hand carry’s every day.
Promises will ever stay,
when his child walks astray,

or even prays to die.

Slowly life changing me,
life I wished I could flee.
Locked to earth by God’s decree.
Not my life, but his, you see.

He wouldn’t let me die.

Here I am, still in the mix.
God knows, I’m no easy fix.
Though I’m still one, he picks,
whatever life inflicts.

Steady prayers still fly,
though none ask to die.

©2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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Empty Footsteps

A trail of empty footsteps
all around is whiteness new
in those empty footsteps
are all my thoughts of you

In the softest flakes
that drift on breath to earth
I hear lilting whispers
reminding me of worth

Worth that can’t be measured
worth that won’t decrease
worth that’s my inheritance
it offers up release

As the empty footsteps
fill with weeping snow
again I am reminded
it’s you who truly know

Every longing fault
every triumph found
all mishandled
moments that abound

Before my earthly birth
before the turning age
you knew my entirety
including my backstage

No longer empty footsteps
we both are now abrim
tears of quiet gratitude
as I rims of puddles skim

© 2021 Mary Grace van der Kroef

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December Night

Mantle of lights above my head
fixed on a map of midnight blue
shining silver blue and red
so close, yet eons over head.

They only wink with my own blink
a steady stream of glistening
shining bright, yet light, I see
is all ancient history.

A vastness more than mind can hold
yet I behold December’s night
stand on my globe of living rock
that spins with the celestial clock.

Count the numbers, multiply,
as the universe flies by,
here I stand a single speck
in heaven’s sum.

December night clear, bright,
gifted glimpse of creations might
never a doubt in my mind
stargazing, meant to remind.

©Mary Grace van der Kroef 2020

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He Keeps Me

I asked the Lord to keep me brave
Hold my chin above the wave

Lend me strength to tread the line
Close my mouth to deadly brine

Whether rescue comes for me
Or in death, I am set free

I asked the Lord to keep me brave
As I swim above the grave

Not a promised morning sun
Still, I know that we have won

He owns night as well as day
At my side, I know He’ll stay

I asked the Lord to keep me brave
Or to despair I would be slave

Though I’m weary of the waves
I thank the Lord he keeps me brave

©Mary Grace van der Kroef 2020

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